Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
