Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
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