fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Randomize
