so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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