it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
