That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
he signed me a blank check so today i get to decide if i want to be a saint or a millionaire
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
