I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Don't EVER smell your tampon
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
