small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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