One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Randomize
