Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
