I cockslap morals
that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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