ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
Girls should come with a carfax report
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize