Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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