There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
