I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
