at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
