Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Randomize
