dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
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