that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Randomize
