I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Randomize
