Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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