You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
