naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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