Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
