brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
