k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
