You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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