Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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