if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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