All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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