yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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