Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
