a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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