5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize