he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
