For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
Randomize
