Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
