woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
