I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
