He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
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