Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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