After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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