FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
