How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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