I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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