what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
