I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
