He kissed a someone with a penis
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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