He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
you never un-have a 4some
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
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