i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
