I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize
