sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
