He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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