It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize