he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
