Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
Randomize
