she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
