I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Randomize
