i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
I don't think I have ever been told that I am "probably too drunk to pet the stingrays" by a cop before.
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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