dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
you would pick up someone in the library
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
