I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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