Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
