1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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