So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
So much rum. So many feels.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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