No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize