Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
