Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
