We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Randomize
