I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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