Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Randomize
