Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Is it penis luge time yet?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
