As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
My pussy is not your playground.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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